Microsoft is to construct the largest e-commerce village ever to be seen in Britain as part of its contribution to the Internet Business 2000 trade show in Brighton. Described as the "most authoritative and influential Internet show ever staged in the UK" IB2000 will have 8000sq ft dedicated to entirely to Net products and service when it opens in December. And the Microsoft Village will host 20 of MS' partners covering issues such as service provision, Web design and online payment. Unfortunately, the rather upbeat and thoroughly provincial press release chirpily announcing MS' involvement in IB2000 failed to mention whether Gates' mob would be demonstrating their security skills. Nothing fancy, you understand, just enough know-how so that 40 million people don't have their Web-based e-mail system shot to pieces by a couple of Nordic hackers. Luckily for MS, one of the topics for discussion at IB2000 will be security so if any of the MS team can tear themselves away from their "e-commerce village" and all their e-village people, they might like to pop along and learn a thing or two. Then again maybe not. For just as every chocolate-box village has a pub, church and roses growing through every orifice, so too must it have its idiot. Still, after the HotMail cock-up earlier this week, they'll have plenty of e-village idiots to choose from. ®